I'm saving this for real this time

Thursday, November 09, 2006

hoping for this to help

this morning laurel wasn't at school again, but she always skips school.
by tthe end of first period mr. horvath called mr. carrier out of the class, when he returned, he informed us laurel had committed suicide last night. I sat there in shock until my emotions took over and the hysterics began. I can't even believe this has happend, the other day we were talking about old friends, new cars, our futures, new york city, and how she should get snake bites. Laurel has been unhappy for a very long time now, and this was not her first attempt at such an awful act she had also batled with drugs. But there were many times where she was happy and doign well in school, even up until yesterday she was planning ahead, trying to figure out what would be the best for her. When you are best friends with a person even at age 13 and have a falling out it is amazing to start a friendship again, and that was the direction i felt laurel and i were going. Many of her friends have delt with the same things with her, but no matter what all her friends have been there for her. we discussed what may have been going through her head last night in our grieving meetings. the whole thing was surreal. groups of girls slowly trickling into the office, but the cries were heard before the faces seen. the awful part was how it turned into gossip in the halls and people were saying "did you hear about that girl......"
i spent my day with friends, a group of friends that once were so tightly knit but have driffeted only to be brought back together for soemthing so terrible. we wandered the halls aimlessly, occasionally breaking down into tears, we shared memories and our disbelief. all day, i have dug up memories from back to 6th grade, so detailed i am amazed at myself.

laurel you are a beautiful amazing unique person and friend, and i have never met a spirit like yours

i miss you so much and i will always remember you and our friendship

we are all living life to its fullest for you

3 comments:

themoldydoily said...

Sweetie- I am so so sorry about this. Just know that I am here if you ever need to talk and that I am thinking about you and offering hugs your way
XOXO

miles said...

thanks. we missed you last night. it was nice. more of a campfire than a bonfire. people told stories and her sister was there. thanks for this.

kate said...

i love you